Laresa Watkins

Overcoming some fears this summer…

Jul 6, 2018
mommyinbonlee

I am not scared of too many things.  There are things I avoid because they make me uncomfortable, such as speaking in front of large groups of adults or going to Wal-Mart on a Saturday, but I can do those things without too much anxiety.  🙂

There is something I am really scared of, though, something that makes my heart beat faster and my thoughts spin out of control: murky water.  When we go over a bridge, especially the long, tall bridges like we went over last week when we went to the Outer Banks, I have to focus on the road in front of me. If I let myself, I will go through in my mind the entire scenario of what would happen if we somehow plunged over the edge of the bridge.  I imagine myself busting out the window of the car, telling Jason to grab Charlie while I get Maddie, then swimming to the surface only to be tragically eaten by an alligator just feet from shore.  Those bridges are all beautiful, but they make me very anxious and I am always relieved to reach the other side.

I avoid any water that isn’t clear enough that I can see my feet.  I love sitting on the beach and walking on the beach and building sandcastles on the beach, but the kids have to really beg me before I will join them in the ocean.  I feel the same way about lakes, rivers, etc. Nope, nope, nope.

Every once in a while I am forced to face this fear, and last week on vacation was one of those times.  Jason mentioned several days ago that there are lots of kayak tours on the OBX, and he wanted to go on one.  Without really thinking it through, I agreed.  Suddenly, I found myself here:

Yep, those are my feet. My feet on a kayak tour through a maritime forest complete with snakes, fish, turtles, 2 feet of mud which a woman would immediately sink into up to her knees if she accidentally fell out of her kayak, and alligators (Our tour guide, Justin, denied this, but I later learned that an alligator had, in fact, been caught in this exact area only weeks earlier. Not only did they catch the alligator here, but they tagged and then released it in the SAME SPOT.).

Why do I let myself get into these situations that scare me so much? Well, I don’t want to miss out on anything. I want to experience every single thing I can in this life, and I want my kids to experience every single thing they can.  While Maddie didn’t care for kayaking, Charlie discovered a new passion.  The problem is, now I am going to have to take him kayaking all the time.  This is him at the lake a few days ago:

I took this picture from shore.  🙂

I want them to be brave and courageous and feel free to try new things, even if they are scared.  And I want them to look back on these experiences and say, “Wow, I did that!”  So I have to do that, too.

Over and over again, apparently.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

25/31 Days

Oct 25, 2017
mommyinbonlee

This weeks theme on The Daily Post is “round.”  I went searching through my pictures and found a lot with a “round” theme, and also thought about writing about being well-rounded or something like that.

But then I found this picture I took when we were on our way to Destin, FL a couple of months ago for vacation.  It’s not a great picture because I took it from the window of the truck while we were traveling around 85 mph down the interstate, plus the power lines are annoying, but it brought back a lot of summer memories so I enjoyed seeing it.

This is the giant peach in the sky (or, as we like to call it, “the giant butt in the sky”) that is right across the border in South Carolina.  I don’t care how many times you pass by it, it’s always funny!

23/31 Days

Oct 23, 2017
mommyinbonlee

Today was a good day. We didn’t have to go anywhere but to the post office (and may or may not have gone by Sonic for milkshakes), and the kids didn’t even take off their pajamas for that.  We got tons of school done and I got the laundry room cleaned out.  Now I’m sitting here with Jason, the windows open so we can hear the storm outside.

I love days like this, but also feel a little anxious whenever I feel like I actually have it together.  Anytime I do seem to have everything under control, a day or two later and it all goes to you-know-where.  I’m constantly reminded that I’m not the one in control here, and I’m good with that.

Fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Something else I am currently feeling VERY anxious about: the kids have set up booby traps all around the house.  I have knocked over 2 cups of water when opening different doors, and when I got into bed I sat on a small, clear lego that had been strategically placed.  😮   I still couldn’t get comfortable, then finally found a plastic cup hidden in my pillowcase.  I’m not sure what else they have done…

Not sure what God’s plan is for this particular anxiety-causing fiasco, but I’m sure it’s something good?

19/31 Days

Oct 19, 2017
mommyinbonlee

It has been 4 years since we ventured to the NC State Fair.  I was pushing our gigantic double jogging stroller and the kids could hardly ride any of the rides.  Here we are at the giant pumpkins:

We finally went back today, and had a fantastic time.  I tried to recreate the above photo.

Wow, the kids have grown! It was so much easier to take them to the fair now that they are a few years older.  Just a word of encouragement to those with toddlers: it gets easier!

We all got to do our favorite things: Jason and I got to see some of the animals and eat some different foods (I had cheese fries and fried pickle chips), Jason wasted $1,000,000 dollars on impossible-to-win games, and the kids rode every ride they could fit on, some more than once.

We did find that Charlie was too big for some of the littlest rides.

And Maddie was too little for some of the bigger rides, which posed a little problem for Miss Thang.

Jason and I rode just a few rides with the kids.

But for the most part just enjoyed our time together.

We had a great day, and maybe even got our Christmas card picture.  But you’ll have to wait until December to see that.

15/31 Days

Oct 15, 2017
mommyinbonlee

I have written on mom guilt before:

Letting Go of Mommy Guilt

This was 3 1/2 years ago, and I while my mom-guilt is so much better (a result, I am sure, of better sleep and generally improved sanity) it still pops up sometimes.

Yesterday I felt guilty because we didn’t go to a festival in a nearby town.  We went to a dairy farm last week, spent several days either at friend’s houses or with friends here, and this week we’re going to the fair one day, zoo another, and pumpkin farm another.  WHY, then, do I feel guilty that I am not providing my children with this fall festival experience?

Is it because I have friends who took their kids and posted the pictures all over Facebook and Instagram? Or because I made the kids stay home and clean their rooms instead? Or because the real reason we didn’t go is because I just didn’t want to leave the house? I really don’t know.  I just know that I felt it.

I have to go back to the verse that I used in my first mom-guilt blog post:

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and

kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich

and satisfying life.”

John 10:10 (NLT)

Such a relief to remind myself that every day I have is a blessing, and God means for every day to be rich and satisfying.  Maddie and I thanked God tonight in our prayers for all of our blessings, that we have each other and that we get to do so many great things.

I’m just going to hang onto that.

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