I think about this blog EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Seriously.  I enjoy writing on it so much, and finding pictures for it, and seeing that people have read it. I really do.

What I most love about it is looking back through it.  It’s really a diary of sorts for me, and I am also counting it as Maddie’s baby book since (poor second child) she doesn’t have one (unless you count hundreds of pictures and papers stuck in an empty scrapbook).  It has been a way for me to document many of our good moments, as well as some bad, since Charlie was a baby and my life took the turn to the path I’m now on.

It has been April since my last post. What??? I have plenty of excuses: I don’t have the time.  I don’t have anything to write about.  I don’t want to invade my children’s privacy. But the real reason is that I just don’t want to be too much. Since I made the blog public and told my friends and family about it, I became kind of shy and less transparent in my writing. I wonder, Why would anyone really want to read what I’m writing? The teenager in me thinks, Do people make fun of me or talk about me when I have an honest moment? Do they think I’m bragging when I tell about good things that are happening? I am hesitant to put myself out there.

Several nights ago, Maddie and I were at a prayer night for a revival that was happening in our community and there were some people singing on stage.  We were invited to all raise our hands to praise God, and Maddie’s hand just shot up in the air and she started waving it around.  I am more shy about praising God in that way, but she grabbed my hand and put it up in the air with hers. I shoved my inhibitions to the side and enjoyed that moment with her.  And that’s just how I want to be here.  Brave.  Childlike. Sincere. Like I used to be before people read this blog.

Every October a big group of bloggers participates in Write 31 Days.  They all write every day for the entire month of October, and they brainstorm together and give feedback to each other and do other things to support each other.  I have participated a couple of times and always really enjoy it, even though it is really time-consuming.  I have decided to informally join in this month.  I’m not officially in Write 31 Days, but I am going to still write for 31 days.  I don’t have a theme or a thumbnail picture or a big post link, but I’m just going to dedicate myself to writing.

So, for 31 days you’re just going to have to put up with my too-muchness.  Or not.  Whatever.:)